Or should that read a ’second try’? I must confess that I was never really convinced by Torchwood’s first season. To explain why, I can do little more than direct your attention to this Dead Ringers spoof:

Dead Ringers parodies are often a little hit and miss, but this one captures Torchwood’s hopelessly contrived premise, tacky use of bad language and unconvincing attempts at gay rights activism perfectly. I particularly hope you caught the line about ‘the scrapings off the floor of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer script meeting’, because the producers obviously did. Indeed, they decided that the best way to attract viewers to the big season opener was to cast Buffy’s James Marsters, who played Spike, to play, well, Spike. Of course, this being a Russel T Davies show that goes out after the 9pm watershed, he’s a bisexual Spike, who has had a past relationship with Jack, but Spike nonetheless.

If you don’t believe me, think about this for a second: James Marsters isn’t really English - he’s American, and yet he turns up in Cardiff as Jack’s charismatic old flame from the future sporting the same mockney accent he spent seven years perfecting in Buffy. I imagine the rehearsals went something like this:

Marsters: Hi, Jack, you look hot in that trenchcoat // or words to that effect…

Producers: Cut. Do the Spike voice.

Marsters: You know, I’m an actor, I can perform using any of a number of…..

Producers: Do the Spike voice.

Marsters: Awright mate, keep yer hair on

I shouldn’t be too critical of Marsters, though, since it has to be said that his performance really is the only thing that gets this season off to a better start than last year’s mediocre effort. They have probably done enough to keep me watching, but the question I have to repeatedly ask myself is: If it weren’t for the Doctor Who connection, would I bother to sit through this show? If I’m being brutally honest, the answer is almost certainly ‘no’.